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Early yesterday morning, we said farewell to a beautiful lady: my sweet Grandma Anne. Losing grandparents is bittersweet. If there is any pain or suffering, we rejoice that they no longer have to feel those. We rejoice when they are reunited with their husband or wife on the other side. But we miss their presence. We miss their goodness and influence. We miss the unique way in which they love us.
This couldn't be more true with Grandmama. We all call her "Action Anne." I am not sure how this nickname first came about, but it describes her perfectly. She was not one who liked to sit still--she was a woman of action! Even as her mobility became more and more limited, she was always aware of those around her and how she could lift there spirits and know that she cared about them. She was the perfect companion to Grandpa Hugh--another who had a hard time sitting still. They both spent their lives in the service of others.
I want to share why this wonderful woman is so meaningful to me. Call it my coping mechanism. Losing Grandma was a big blow and I am still trying to imagine life without her. I feel much better when I think about my memories with her. Doesn't help that I'm 8 months pregnant(aka emotional ALL the time and not flight-eligible). So here goes my tribute to this wonderful woman!
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| Her Graduation Picture. Lovely Woman. |
I was lucky to live just a 5 minute's drive away from Grandma and Grandpa Pinnock. We were over at their home often. Let's just say their house was a child's wonderland. Their yard was our forest and playground, complete with a pond to catch water skeeters on, animals like chickens and peacocks, a tennis court, streams, and endless trees to weave through. In later years, the empty animal cages gave way to our dream forts, which we worked very hard on. Lots of trees meant lots of sticks, which Grandma and Grandpa gave us an honest fee to pick up;) Some of my happiest memories as a child were riding my bike down Walker Lane to play with my siblings and cousins in their yard.
Their house was just as magical. It was a quirky home with all sorts of add-ons, but add-ons meant secret tunnels behind cupboards and forts inside! Their home had a comforting smell, usually smelling of something made from her freshly-ground whole wheat. When Jess and I would go over there to spend some time with Grandma, we would help her make loaves of whole wheat bread, strawberry jam, or egg salad to put on the freshly baked bread. Oh, let's ot forget her grilled cheese sandwiches on the wheat bread. Soooooo good. We kind of would tease her throughout the years for never throwing any food away....even expired food storage. But the truth was--she appreciated everything she had!
Grandma made us each little tin buckets filled with toys with our names written on them. Toys like jacks, puzzles, and mini comic books. Pre-electronics people, and they were magnificent! They kept us busy for hours!
When it would come time to leave Grandma's house, we kids would hop in the car, and as Mom or Dad would pull out of the driveway, Grandma would be right there waving goodbye and giving us her "butterfingers." Her "Butterfingers" were kissing her fingers and sending them our way. We loved it.
Jessica and I would anxiously await summertime. Summertime meant cousins Kim, Missy and Steph were coming in town for pretty much the whole summer. They would stay at Grandma and Grandpa's house, which meant we were there ALL the time. Many sleepovers over at Grandma's house! Steph and I were a little scared to sleep down in the basement, so our sleeping spot was under their grand piano in the living room. We would read comic books late into the night under the piano. The only thing was, it was right next to the kitchen, and Grandma and Grandpa were up early to get breakfast going. Grandma would wake us with a goblet of frothy orange juice right next to our faces, along with a reminder that pancakes were ready. Didn't mind that much as a kid who didn't sleep much anyways, but as I got older I would sometimes moan at that glass of orange juice. But, no orange juice could quite compare to Grandma's foamy, frothy orange juice.
These memories on Walker Lane would not be complete without family dinners and BBQs. Grandpa usually grilled up fish he had caught on one of his fishing trips, and Grandma would make brown rice pilaf and her orange rolls. Their house smelled so good! We would all eat, and then we kids would pretend we were running away and would pack up leftovers as rations in their wheelbarrow. Of course, dessert would beckon us back to Grandmas;)
Grandma was our first employer. She would hire us to dust and clean, as well as pick up sticks in the yard. Each Christmas, Jess and I would help Grandma stuff envelopes and address their many many Christmas Cards (They had a lot of friends....many many cards....) She made sure that we learned to earn, pay tithing, and save.
As a child, I remember Grandma teaching me the power of prayer. If I ever lost something and Grandma was nearby, she would kneel down with me and ask me to pray. She had so much faith. Faith was probably her grandest quality.
She also had beautiful hands. These hands worked hard, but none were as gentle as hers. When we had a hard time sleeping, she would gently stroke our faces until we fell asleep. I will miss her soft hands.
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| With her man! |
Grandma was the perfect wife and caregiver. She held down the fort when Grandpa had to work a lot or travel. She was at Grandpa's side with every one of his callings, even if it meant moving away to be mission presidents or an area authority. She supported him in everything. About 15 years ago, Grandpa Hugh's health made a turn for the worst. His pulmonary fibrosis took him away from us much sooner than any of us anticipated. I remember Grandma taking impeccable care of him. Losing him was a blow. Because of her already long battle with Parkinson's Disease, this also meant moving to another home that would be easier for her to manage. This whole transition just proved to us all how tough this lady is!
We would all miss the memories of Walker Lane, but her new home brought new memories. Though her mobility started to weaken, she was up early every morning, making every day productive. She worked on family history, she cooked, and she served others. She now had many grandchildren, and she made each of them feel special and loved.
I have many memories of this phase, but just I will share just a few;)
It seemed the older Grandma got, the more prone she was to crying. Now don't misunderstand me, these were rarely sad tears. Most of the time, it was because of something really joyous and happy! Be it a little boy saving his pet parakeet from being hit by a car or a news event, tears would flow and her voice gradually became higher pitched. It somehow turned into a rite of passage: If you can make Grandma cry, she loves you more and you are a part of the club. (Us five oldest cousins had some heartwarming pictures taken of us and framed a few of them up for Grandma. "This will make her cry," we thought. She unwrapped it--no tears. Bah. try harder next time I guess!) As a family, we kind of have a reputation of being a little irreverent and joking around, and sometimes those episodes would trigger tears, not necessarily the happy ones. Sorry Grandma! But you were just sooooooooo cute when you would cry! I really will miss Grandma's happy crying.
Grandma loved sugar. Actually, "loved" is an understatement--it was her friend....and vice. Doctors recommended that she limit her intake because of its effects when combined with certain medicines. We all did our best to keep it away from her, but, being the cute, sneaky grandma she was, managed to find a way to get her treats! One time, my aunt Annette had company over at Grandma's, and asked if Steph and I would get dessert ready. We got a gallon of ice cream out of the freezer, set it on the table, and went across the kitchen to get bowls out. All of the sudden, we hear someone fiddling with the ice cream scoop and hacking away at the really frozen ice cream. We turn our heads, catch a glimpse of Grandma eating her one bite of ice cream, and then scurrying away as fast as she could, as she didn't want to get caught! Oh grandma. There would be other times that we would catch her hunched over the freezer, trying to sneak something naughty. This must be where we all get our sweet tooth!
Another memory, among many others I have, was a certain date night at Grandma's house. We oldest girls were all grown and in college. It was Christmastime, and the 5 of us-Kim, Missy, Steph, Jess and I wanted to have a gingerbread house-making date night at Grandma's house. We all had a great time in the kitchen with our dates, especially when it turned into a food fight! After our dates went home, we girls went up to the jiggle bed room, which was right above Grandma's. Steph's date Jared, who is also a good family friend, lived far away, so was spending the night on the other side of the house. Being girls, we got a little loud, and all of the sudden I hear Grandma's door open. Dang, we woke her up! I run down to her room and tell her sorry, and that she can go back to bed.
For some reason, Grandma didn't believe that it was just us girls up there! I tried to calm her worries, and explained that Jared was asleep on the far side of the house, which unfortunately made her more angry. I think I even tried to pin her down in her bed--another bad move, despite my innocence! She said she needed to make sure no shenanigans were going on in her house! "You are hiding something, I know it!" she told me. What the freak, this guy was asleep and not even my date! and it was just us girls up in that room! I think these were her days with a walker, and she didn't even bother to get the walker--she B-lined it (a little slowly of course) to the stairs and practically crawled up to make sure we weren't up to no good. I think, out of desperation to prove my honor and cleanliness, I grabbed her ankles to keep her from going up there and to get her back to bed (not helping my case one bit!) Aunt Annette comes out of her room and says, "Mom, what are you doing?" "These girls are up to something, and it's not good!" Annette explained why their friend was spending the night and that we were being good girls and tucked her back into bed. The next morning, I came into the kitchen, and there was Grandma. Sheepishly, she said "I'm sorry."
I think about this memory and just laugh. Grandma, even if it meant the end of her, would ALWAYS make sure her posterity would stay morally clean! No shenanigans under her roof! Sweet, Sweet Grandmama.
Another memory I will always cherish in her home was a year or so after Grandpa died. I was about 13 years old, and I went over with my parents to visit Grandma. Who also happened to visit that night was President Thomas S. Monson. President Monson was Grandpa's fishing buddy and dear friend. After Grandpa died, he made a special effort to make sure Grandma was taken care of. He had come over that evening to give her a priesthood blessing. I remember sitting next to him on the couch, listening to his stories. I had a water glass, and set it down on the coffee table. Pres. Monson said "My mother always taught me to use a coaster when I set my glass down." I quickly put a coaster beneath my glass, and he looked at me and said "You learn quick my dear!" He was so sweet and tender with all of us, and made Grandma feel like a queen. I love this memory, and not just because it was an amazing experience to sit and converse with a future prophet of God. I saw that my Grandma was loved and respected for everything that she was. She was lovely. She radiated with love and beauty inside out. She truly had a special influence on those around her.
My favorite memories with Grandma were being her companion at General Conference. Since Jr. High days, I would go with her to at least one session every conference. She had her seat towards the front of the conference center, and without fail, at least one or two, sometimes more, of the brethren would come down from the stand and would make sure that they said hello to their "Annie." These are treasured experiences for me. These conference sessions strengthened my faith in the Savior and my testimony of His restored gospel. Being able to meet some of the brethren was remarkable. I got to see such a nurturing side of these men of God, along with their roles as prophets, seers and revelators. My testimony of the Restoration does not waver because of my spiritual experiences at General Conference with Grandma. Even when it got difficult for her to walk and make the trip, she went to every session at the conference center. I think her heart broke when she realized that it was going to be to hard for her to go.
I thought it was fitting that she departed this life after she had watched General Conference this past Easter Weekend. Each time I watch conference, I think of her, and oh how I wish we could go together!
Because of the progression of her Parkinson's, it was time to make another move to an assisted living center. . Grandma would be living at Sunrise. It was hard for her to leave her home. She longed for her independence, and became frustrated that others needed to help her. She patiently learned that she couldn't do it alone. Though it was hard for her, she gracefully let others help her more and more. I miss having these opportunities to help her.
Despite the difficult transition, Sunrise was close by so we would all be able to see her often. We soon realized that she would have no trouble at all making friends! She met all sorts of friends at Sunrise--residents, nurses, caretakers, waiters--you name it! She would take every opportunity to share the gospel, and even helped someone there prepare for baptism! I will always cherish the times I got to go have dinner with her and visit with her at Sunrise. I will also miss our annual celebration for her birthday in the big room upstairs! Our tradition was a present exchange among cousins and showering Grandma with gifts after a big dinner. I think the party will still happen, but I will miss seeing her there!
Grandma, even through her failing mobility, was our still our #1 fan at the events that were important to us. Be it an art show, a performance, or talk in church, she wanted to be there. I was lucky to have her come to my endowment session and setting apart as a missionary. She wrote me cards on my mission and supported me. Because of her example, I wanted to be the best missionary I could be. She was right there when I returned from my mission, cheering me on. She took great interest in my dating. When I met Andy, she anxiously wanted to meet him. When I still wasn't sure if he was "the one," she would say, "He is wonderful! What on earth is making you hesitate!" Well, he turned out to be the one and I look back and wonder why on earth I hesitated! She got to be there in the sealing room when Andy and I were sealed together for time and all eternity. It was a special day, and Grandma helped me prepare for it in so many ways.
After our sealing and wedding dinner, everyone was outside to cheer us on as we departed for our honeymoon. I will never forget Grandma in her wheelchair, parked right in front of our car (I think Uncle Marc put her there;) She gave us a sweet little wave and her butterfingers.
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| Isn't she lovely? |
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| Outside the Temple on our Wedding Day |
Grandma fought the fight. Having Parkinson's for 30+ years, and still embracing life for all it had to offer is quite the feat. But Grandma persevered. I don't think I will ever meet another who had her will. Trials that would easily crumble most of us could not crumble her. It is hard to imagine life without her there. Though we are happy for her that she is no longer locked inside her body, we will miss her so. She is our matriarch, and our rock. I will miss our visits together, and leaving wanting to be better. I love her so much, and I am happy she is with Grandpa Hugh.
I wish I could be there with everyone to celebrate her life. When I first learned she had passed, my heart ached that she wouldn't be able to hold our baby. But I was lovingly reassured that she is holding our little baby right now, no doubt helping him or her get ready to come into our lives. (And no doubt filling our baby in on the different ways to be patient with us;) I know this baby is already experiencing so much love.
Grandma Anne truly exemplified loveliness. What will we do without our lovely lady? Love you Grandma!
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