Wonderful Legacies: Grandpas

This is a tender time of year for my family and me. It is a time of sharing traditions, being with each other, and giving. It is a time that we celebrate the birth of our loving Savior and focus on what it truly means to be a disciple. It is a time of year that fills me with excitement, as well as tenderness.

December has also been a time of loss for us. On December 15, 2000, my grandpa Hugh Pinnock passed away after battling pulmonary fibrosis. Know as "the General," he exemplified leadership, following the commandments, and getting lost in the service of others. He always had his door open to those seeking counsel and guidance. He organized firesides in his home and taught us the gospel.  He loved the Savior and taught us how to put his teachings into action. Grandma Anne was right there with him every step of the way, supporting him and teaching us.

To his grandchildren, he was something more.  He was the grandpa who would conjure up a great detective case that needed to be solved....or else. He took us fishing up at the Bear River and went so far as to insist we eat our catchings for breakfast (much to our dismay). He would make us "Superman Burritos," which basically was a flour tortilla with ketchup drizzled on it, rolled up and put in the microwave. He put ketchup on a lot of things! He was the kind of grandpa who let us have dessert before dinner when grandma wasn't watching. When I would go over to see him and Grandma, he would be asleep on his red reclining chair in the living room....supposedly. He would be snoring so loudly with a smile on his face, and if you tried to sneek up on him, he would let out the biggest sneeze that would scare the boogers out of your own nose! He came to every elementary school art show and recital. He and Grandma would come to our house as we were opening presents on Christmas morning, decked out in their Christmas best! Grandpa showed us grandkids the network of secret tunnels and hideouts in their house--elements of the home that made it special from all others! One of my favorite memories is driving up to Bear Lake with Grandma, Grandpa and Stephie. Grandpa sang songs a lot, one of his favorite being "Bill Grogan's Goat." In the middle of singing the song, we run over something in the road, and Grandpa interjects "I just hit a skunk..."  into the lyrics. The car fills with the stench of that ill-fated skunk, and all of us were pretty smelly until we got out of the car! I think you had to be there, but it had Steph and me laughing pretty hard all day long!

One of my last memories with Grandpa Hugh was when the whole family was gathered at their home for a last family home evening. Grandpa spoke to us all about selfless service, and making the Christmas season about giving to others, not expecting anything in return. The Spirit filled the room as he taught us. As we were preparing to leave, Grandpa, sitting in his red chair, grabbed my hand. "I hope you always know how beautiful you are to me Bethany. Know that I love you dearest." Those were his last words to me. A few days later, he passed away in the hospital as the family was singing "Silent Night," a song all of us will forever sing with a feeling of tenderness. I miss you Grandpa Hugh!

A year ago yesterday, December 5th, my sweet Grandpa Albert Choules passed from this life and reunited with his sweetheart Rosemary. He had been inflicted with Alzheimers. It was a very tender week for my whole family as we gathered around his bed at his assisted living center those last days. Though he was not awake for most of the time we were with him, we would feel his hand squeeze our as we held his. It was tender to watch my mom lay by his side until his last breaths. She has had to say goodbye to her mom and her dad. Though we were gladdened that his suffering was coming to an end, all of us broke down, realizing that a very sweet and special man would not be with us anymore. My grandpa Albert was the kind of Grandpa who was not "the General" type, yet he exemplified the true love of Christ in countless ways. He spent his whole life in the service of the Lord. He magnified every calling he was given and allowed those callings to sanctify him and shape his  heart. He took each of us grandkids on our own special temple trip when we turned Twelve. We would spend the night at their home in the Avenues, go to our favorite restaurant for dinner, and visit two temples the next day to do baptisms for the dead. I will never forget him touching the walls of the temple, as if he was trying to absorb its holiness. He made an effort to always teach us of eternal things--Our loving Grandma Rosemary who we didn't get to know here on earth, the blessings of eternal marriage, and the miracle of the Atonement. Whenever I would call him on the phone, I would hear an enthusiastic "Hello Sweetheart!" as he was walking around the house, trying to find Grandma Marilyn so she could talk on the phone with us as well. He loved his eternal companions and found ways to always honor Grandma Rosemary and Grandma Marilyn.  Grandma Marilyn was so good at planning activities for all of us to do together, our favorites being our sleepovers at their home. Grandpa and Grandma came to every art show, recital, school event, my mission setting apart, and they were there in the sealing room when Andrew and I were married for time and all eternity.

My favorite memory is sitting with Grandpa, laying my head on his shoulder, and talking to him. I got to be there with him at their home the day he was moving to his assisted living center. He was sitting in his chair in the second bedroom, his suitcase right beside him, looking down at the floor. This was hard for him, he didn't want to leave Grandma. He squeezed my hand. No words spoken, we didn't need to. We understood each other. This was hard. It wouldn't be so hard if he didn't love Grandma so much. She was always on his mind as he adjusted to his new home. That was a wonderful example to me, his newly married granddaughter. His example made me want to be more devoted to Andrew, and to always make sure he feels of my love. As Grandpa left us early that morning, it was a comfort to have my sweetheart with me, his shoulder there to cry on.

I would miss this sweet man. I would miss his hugs, his winks, and the way he would hold my hand in his. I would miss watching John Wayne with him late at night, after Grandma had gone to bed. I would miss his funny throat clearing. I would miss his white ring of hair sticking straight out after he woke up. I would miss his gentle manner of talking to us about our lives. I would miss his kisses. I would miss his presence. I love you Grandpa Albert!

Yesterday, another man departed this life after a four year battle with cancer--Andrew's Grandpa Brown. Grandpa Brown will always have a very special place in my heart. I didn't grow up with him as my grandpa, but as I came into the family, he sure made me feel like I was truly his granddaughter. I will never forget the way he warmly welcomed me, even though Andrew and I were just dating at the time. He always had a twinkle in his eye when around his family. I loved the way he would always hold Grandma's hand everywhere they went. I loved watching his family with him and the way they all are so close to him. He and Grandma had created traditions for the whole family, traditions everyone treasured. I loved going to their home on Christmas Eve, the week before Andrew and I got married. There was a wonderful dinner, a reinactment of a Charlie Brown Christmas, carols sung, and presents passed around. They had a card and gift for each grandchild, even the newcomers. There had been many happy Christmases in this home. I loved hearing Andrew tell me stories of the many times Grandpa took him golfing, fishing and on trips to Lake Powell. I could tell from the beginning that they had a very special relationship.  As I talked to other members of the Brown family, every one of them had the same adoration for Grandpa and Grandma. All of them wold be right there at their home in the spring and fall to clean up the yard.  This is quite an amazing family, one with a great patriarch.

Some of my favorite memories in the few short years I have gotten to know Grandpa Brown are the double dates we have had with him and Grandma. When Andrew and I were dating, they took us to Red Lobster for dinner. They told us the story of how they were high school sweethearts, and then got married a few days before Grandpa had to go overseas with the army. they told us about the letters exchanged over the two years, and how hard it was to be separated. As we talked, he looked at both of us and said, "I am so happy for you two, you will do great things together!" as he gave us a loving wink. It would be a few more weeks until we started talking about getting married, but it was nice to have the Grandpa Brown Stamp of Approval! We shared a few fun dinner dates with them. Jed was able to join us on a few of them, the five of us being the only "Salt Lake people." My favorite was when the five of us gathered at our home a few weeks before we moved to Geneva for a last meal all together. As we ate pasta alfredo and peach pie, we listened to Grandma tell story after story, all of us laughing til we felt sick. I loved watching Grandpa just look at her as she would tell her stories. She would say "What Ray?" and he would say, "Oh I just adore you sweetheart." I loved it. I will miss the twinkle in his eye, his hugs, his gentle concern for each member of his family, him holding Grandma's hand, the dinner dates, his stories, and his loving disposition. After losing both of my grandpas, he stepped in and was a sweet grandpa to me. We are happy he is no longer in pain, but we will all miss him so much. To quote my husband, "He is pretty close to perfection!" Very true.

Though losing loved ones like our grandpas is hard and we feel a void at the family get-togethers, I love the celebration of life. I love looking back on what each of my grandfathers taught me and reflecting on the memories we shared. I feel like they are all up above watching over us, being our guardian angels. Knowing that they are still  very much a part of our lives makes me want to try harder to be better and continue that legacy. I will never forget our sealing in the temple. Elder Marlin Jensen conducted our sealing almost two years ago. He was a dear friend to both of my Grandfathers.  One of the things he taught us was the importance of our family legacy. We are to always honor the legacies created by those who have gone before us. After all, the purpose of the temple is to "plant in the hearts of the children the promises made to the fathers, and the hearts of the children shall turn to their fathers."(JSH 1:39) I am grateful for the eternal plan of our Heavenly Father. I am grateful for my wonderful family, and the righteous influence of my grandparents and parents. I am grateful to be sealed to Andrew in the Temple. I am grateful for eternity.

Grandpa Hugh, Grandpa Albert, and Grandpa Brown--I love you and miss you! May we all continue your wonderful legacies!